I turn 40 in a week. I dreaded turning 30 because I believed 30-year-olds have responsibilities I wasn't ready to face like paying taxes and not throwing up on the carpet at your parents' house or not throwing up on your best-friend-since-high school's-bathroom floor. Yes those happened in my 30s...one was quite late in my 30s. Maybe last year. No judging!
Still while in my 30s, I had a baby. I moved to another state. I had kidney stones. I struggled with a bipolar II diagnosis. I lost a close friend. I found pieces of myself.
I handled increasingly-insane situations that almost broke me down, only so I could pop back up more confident than ever. There's an empowerment that comes along with shaking off the bad stuff and keeping your head held high. I got close to losing all of my dignity more than once.
But I stood taller, carried myself proudly and realized I needed to set my life on fire.
I made scary decisions that I feel absolutely awesome about.
I'm turning 40. I'm blowing up my life. I'm terrified. But I'm not old. My hair will stay purple. My arms need some fresh ink. I will work as hard as I can to be the best esthetician in Texas or anywhere else we may end up.
I want my daughter to see me as her role model for making things possible and working for everything.
I feel better about 40 than I did 30.
Because most importantly, I look younger now than I did when I turned 30. #fuckitim40