Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Listen To Your Mother



Me during rehearsal. I didn't know what to do with my hands.
Photo courtesy of Casey Chapman Ross
This Saturday, I have the honor of performing in Austin's Listen To Your Mother show. It's really happening; I've gone to two rehearsals and they haven't politely asked me to leave so they're stuck with me.
It's a surreal feeling to be chosen for this show. I'm sharing my story amongst these remarkable women whose stories are so profound.
Mine is not as profound. I don't do deep, usually.
I'm not nervous about performing or being onstage.
I'm nervous about fitting in and looking good and not embarrassing myself.
I'm nervous that my jokes will fall flat and that my husband will roll his eyes.
I'm nervous that my therapist will come and tell me afterwards that there's no hope for me.
I'm nervous that I'll trip on my way to the stage. Sure, it's endearing when cute, young Jennifer Lawrence does it but when a 38-year-old me does it, it won't be as adorable.
I'm scared I'll miss it completely. True story, I have nightmares about this all the time. That I'll just forget to show up.
I'm terrified that nobody will be proud of me.
I'm nervous my dress is see-through and I'll wear the wrong bra.
I'm nervous my Spanx will cut off my circulation.
I'm nervous my shoes won't be the cutest. Judging by the photos we've been sharing, there's no way my shoes will be the cutest. These gals have some serious shoe game!
I've been told they're laughing at me for my words and not because my fly was down.
Photo courtesy of Casey Chapman Ross

Mostly, I'm nervous that I'll be exposed for the fraud that I am. I'm not a real blogger; I barely keep up with Hip-Baby Mama anymore. Writing was supposed to be my outlet but I put so much pressure on myself to be good at that I blank at every second. If I update once a month, that's lucky.
If my blog traffic increases, will my new readers even like what they see? But that's a whole other area of insecurity.
So this is my pre-show freakout. I know I'll be ok the moment I step on that stage. I'll have the support of my amazing castmembers and our producers and my family and friends in the audience. I'll look great, my Spanx will do its job and if the polish on my pinky is chipped, nobody will notice.
And somebody will be proud of me.
If you want that somebody to be you, please buy your tickets and come see me. 

I mean, just look at these wonderful women! Award-winners, published bloggers...all that and they have amazing taste in shoes!
Photo courtesy of Casey Chapman Ross


8 comments:

  1. You will be amazing! You ARE amazing!

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  2. I am proud of you! This is so cool and I wish I could come watch!

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  3. If your blouse is see through I'd count that as a bonus....but really, you're going to be amazing, you always have me laughing with your lucky once a month punch lines. Hugs from all of us!

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  4. I admire you a lot and you will rock this. I've got so many thoughts swirling in my head about LTYM and I want to try and write them down before the moment is gone. Maybe now I will because you have inspired me. There is inspiration in your funny, too, so don't loose site of that. Aaaannndddd....I am building you up just to let you down because as wonderful as you are you will not have the cutest shoes. I can get stabby about my shoe game. Sorry. XO.

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  5. LTYM produces such amazing shows every year that are full of women who always bring a smile to my face, a tear to my eye and a belly laugh or two. I can't wait to hear your story! You'll be great!

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  6. I want to reply to everyone but I'm getting all weepy at work and I have a "cool mom" rep to protect! I love you all. Thank you for being so awesome!

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  7. Knock em' dead punkin, you're awesome and now they'll all know it too!

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  8. Knock em' dead punkin, you're awesome and now they'll all know it too!

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