Thursday, September 26, 2013

House Rules

I made this in Word. Just like your friend did. Only she used Comic Sans.
There seems to be a trend that I'll blame on Pinterest. That is creating framed "Rules of the House" artwork that says things like, "Be kind," "Hug each other" and "Dream big." None of these are even remotely realistic in our house. So if I were to post some House Rules this is what they would say:

  • No spitting on the floor, no matter how funny it is when Marty does it in Madagascar
  • The first thing you should say in the morning is, "Good morning." Not, "Get up!" "I WANT SOME MILK" or "Where are my socks?"
  • If you blow out the bathroom, light a match or use the spray
  • Rinse your plate
  • Don't kick the dog
  • Say you love the meal that was cooked for you no matter how bad it may taste
  • Know the answer to "Wanna watch House Hunters?" is always yes
  • If you're here to watch a sporting event and you choose not to root for the same team we are, you know where the door is
  • The pills in the medicine cabinet are yours for the taking. I hide the good ones elsewhere
  • "Look how young you were in this picture!" is never an acceptable way to look at displayed photos
  • Wipe your feet on the doormat
  • Don't drink the bathwater
  • No, our scale isn't broken
  • Don't be embarrassed if you need the plunger
  • Always bring beer
  • A naked child running through the house is perfectly normal
  • Never use the words "candy" "M&Ms" or "ice cream" around L.E. unless you have one of the three
  • Don't ask why there's a bottle of vodka in the toilet tank
  • We have a mouse. His name is Ginger. He lives on the roof. Leave him alone
  • If you're hot, here's a tank top. If you're cold, here's a blanket
  • Laugh a lot. We do.


  1. This is so perfect. I particularly like the idea of vodka in the toilet tank...

    1. I'm pretty sure I got the alcohol-in-the-bathroom idea from you!

  2. This is hilarious, Lisa! Great rules.