Thursday, March 21, 2013

Top Ten More Signs You're a Terrible Stay-At-Home-Mom

My last Top 10 was so fun that I've come up with 10 more reasons why I should find more paid work.

10. Your child still goes to preschool.

9. You spent 20 minutes telling your husband about the battle of wills you got into with a spider named Herman.

8. You now have a pet spider named Herman.

7. You cursed the Swiffer as being "the most over-rated cleaning product ever," and then realized you'd been using it without putting a dry cloth on it.

6. Your husband refers to "the time you used to to work," with the same longing tone he uses to tell the story of that one time he saw Phoebe Cates in an airport.

5. You post a pic of your child's "art" on Facebook because you don't know what it is.

North America? Eur-Asia? A gnome sodomizing a bear?

4. You ask your husband to pick up your child on his way home because you're in the middle of scrubbing the grout but really, it's because you're finally showering.

3. You make of the workouts people are doing at the Crossfit place down the street. (Really? Moving boxes is "working out?") Usually, you're eating tater tots when you see them.

2.  You go back to sleep for a few hours after the husband and child leave.

1. When your husband comes home, you ask him, "What's for dinner?" and complain about how tired you are.


  1. Love, love, love item #4. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me!

    1. It's number 2 that I'm most embarrassed about. Shhhh.