Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Ten Reasons I'm Looking Forward to the Holidays

I love Christmas. I love buying presents and putting up decorations. I love gatherings and the cheese trays that go with them.
I know there are more than ten, but here are some reasons why I'm looking forward to Christmas 2012:

10. Gingerbread Lattes at Starbucks
9. "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."
8. Footie Pajamas
7. Everything in this post
6. My upcoming 12 Days of Posts, where I'll post something every day for 12 days.
5. L.E.'s Christmas Tree butt

4. Singing along with the theme from "A Charlie Brown Christmas"

3. A Major Award

2. "Little full. Lotta sap."

1. The pure joy L.E. will experience now that she's a little older and "gets" Christmas

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving Eve

I made this turkey hand out of old Halloween candy.  That's right, I made it not my 2-year-old.

A lot of people are doing a "Being Thankful" challenge in which they post something they're grateful for every day in November. I'm not that ambitious; so I'll just knock out what I'm thankful for in one super-easy-to-read blog post.
I know I've been a little off lately, but I want to channel some positive thoughts tonight. I'm very fortunate to have what I do.

I am thankful for:

  1. Dr. T. I can't even put into words how much he does and what it means to our family but he definitely deserves the top spot this year. 
  2. L.E. She is hilarious and frustrating and I wouldn't change a thing about her, no matter how late she stays up and how many times she wakes up in the night. OK, maybe I would change her sleeping habits. But her smiles and the way her eyebrows raise up when she's excited make me the luckiest mom in the world.
  3. P-Man. He's still here! 12 years old and still going strong.
  4. My guardian angel I don't know who he or she is but they once again saved me from what could have been a very terrible accident when a deer ran out in front of me the other night. I honestly don't know how I missed it.
  5. My sister-wife who is more important to me than ever. I miss her like crazy. Because of her, I have friends in Austin; close enough friends that they invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner.
  6. My family. Spending the holiday without them is always hard. Thanksgiving at my parents' house is an epic event. Maybe next year we'll be able to go to it.
  7. FaceTime. So my parents can prop up the iPad on the counter and it's like I'm there!
  8. My BFF who is going through her first round of holidays without her mom. I wish I could do more to be there for her and I hope she knows that I think about her constantly.
  9. My San Diego friend who never fails to let me know how much I mean to her.
  10. L.E.'s godparents who need to finish their remodel so we can visit.
  11. My Reno friends who still check in with me a lot more than I thought they would. People get busy so I would totally understand being overlooked but I'm not and that just makes me feel so warm and fuzzy.
  12. My former boss who not only reads this blog, but told me the other day that I am a strong person and can weather anything. It means so much to me because he's someone I've admired for so long. It's a great feeling when a mentor holds you in high regard. He also called me young which is awesome.
  13. Austin. OK, it's with a bit of reluctance because I'm still adjusting to life in Texas but truthfully, Austin is a pretty great place to live. There's never a shortage of things to do. 
  14. New Austin friends. We don't have many but we're grateful to have people here who are really cool and fun to be around.
  15. Life's essentials. I have a roof over my head, I'm well-fed, I have lots of clothing even though many things are tight (see: well-fed)...there's nothing I need and that's a damn good thing to be grateful for.
  16. The founders of Austin Moms Blog who gave me another outlet to share my "wisdom" and offer tips on finding the best queso in Austin.
  17. Queso.
  18. Barbecue.
  19. Phil's Ice House.
  20. Our trip to the beach on Friday.
  21. Bumble & Bumble. My frizzy hair is under control.
  22. Most of all I'm grateful for you, my readers. As long as I have at least one person reading this, I'll keep writing. And if you could tell maybe like 150 of your friends to read, too, maybe I'll get a book deal. Hey, it worked for the People I Want To Punch In The Throat lady...
So Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! Eat, drink, be merry, hug your loved ones tight.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

What Was Up With This Past Week?

I feel like the stars were aligned against me last week.
L.E. has turned into a 6-month-old colicky baby again, only this time she has verbal skills and free will. Getting her to go to bed has turned into a 2+ hour venture with Dr. T and I tag-teaming with countless stories. She also wants her binky all the time and cries when we make her take it out in the morning. She'll throw herself on the ground at random and will scream and cry for a lollipop or popsicle. She wakes up in the middle of the night demanding more stories and milk. It's been awful.
When she's not having a super-psycho-freak-out, she's the most amazing and sweet little girl ever.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: it's like living with a drunk Tasmanian Devil who is also bipolar.
I work till 6 and commute 30 minutes so I'm generally not home much before 7. This has turned Dr. T into a huge grouch because he's home alone with the devil incarnate for almost 2 hours. It shouldn't be that big of a deal but it all came to a head this week. I'm not one for tears at work, especially at a new job, but Wednesday I couldn't control it. I was upset, tired, angry and feeling like all of my spinning plates were falling around me.
I'm ready to say, "I give up."
I've been back to work for two weeks and my house has gone to hell, I've gained 7 lbs and I have yet to stay awake past 9:30.
I feel like a failure at life, work, marriage and parenting.
There is only one other woman at my job who has kids. She gets the same flack I do about not pulling her weight in the office. That is the worst possible feeling to have, especially when it's been less than a month. The younger employees don't think it's fair that I leave on-time every day. But they don't see me coming in early, working through lunch. They don't know that in my 15-year career, I've done more than my share of covering for people who have also struggled with finding a work-life balance.
On top of it all, we're pretty lonely. We don't have many friends here and we're trying not to be too pushy with the people we do know.
This is just really hard right now.
I hope it gets better soon.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Random Stuff About Which I'm Thinking

Just some random thoughts on this glorious weekend.

  • I'm happy about the outcome of the election because my Nuva-Ring is free and shall remain so.
  • L.E. has been anti-sleep again and it's starting to wear on me.
  • My first week of full-time work was good but exhausting.
  • I've made a plan to find a different event with a bouncy house every weekend. Yesterday, it was here.
  • I'm making deviled eggs but Dr. T would rather have egg salad. Either way, I get to play with hard-boiled eggs.
  • I don't have a doctor in Austin and my anti-depressant RX ran out. So I'm starting to taper off. I hope it helps with my memory because I never remember anything because of those pills.
  • L.E. keeps eating things she finds on the ground at the park.
  • I worry my Reno friends have forgotten about me.
  • I love tacos.
  • I just finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's set in Pittsburgh in the early 90s, when I was the same age as the narrator. This part is my favorite:  As you enter the tunnel, the wind gets sucked away, and you squint from the lights overhead. When you adjust to the lights, you can see the other side in the distance just as the sound of the radio fades to nothing because the waves just can't reach. Then, you're in the middle of the tunnel, and everything becomes a calm dream. As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get there fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you. And the radio comes back even louder than you remember it. And the wind is waiting. And you fly out of the tunnel onto the bridge. And there it is. The city. A million lights and buildings and everything seems as exciting as the first time you saw it.
This is what he's describing

  • L.E. is going through the worst possible phase: all she wants is her daddy. That's the most heartbreaking thing for a mom with fragile self-esteem. 
  • I need to get my sewing machine out of the shed.
  • I'm excited for our trip to the beach over Thanksgiving weekend. I know people say Texas beaches are awful but to me a beach is a beach. Plus, it's November.
  • Is it possible that PTSD can occur after ordinary life events like having a baby and moving to a new city?
  • I need some new clothes.
  • Argo was a great movie.
  • I need some barbecue.
  • A lawyer penned her resignation letter as a day-in-the-life-of and it's gone viral. My conflicted feelings on this should definitely be an upcoming post.