Thursday, June 21, 2012

32 and Pregnant




I love this video. The whole time I was pregnant, I would watch 16 & Pregnant and cry because the girls on that show all had their moms to help them but my mom was across the country.

This video reminds me of all of the "problems" Dr. T and I faced. Below are actual quotes spoken by either of us during those 40 weeks.

"Prenatal yoga is too early in the morning. There's no way I can make it anywhere by 11am on a Saturday."

"Why do you want a crib from Pottery Barn Kids? The one from Crate & Barrel is way nicer."

"I really keep going back and forth on different parenting styles. My parents always made fun of me and I turned out fine."

"Which Moby wrap is more flattering, the black one or the plum one?"

"Oh shit." (Spoken simultaneously as L.E.'s gender was revealed.)

"I'm so glad I'm having a girl. I really don't think I could handle the masturbation years."

"Honey, we're out of organic peanut butter! Do you really want your unborn child to ingest Skippy?"

"I'm not buying a new dresser because the one we have is 2 shades off from the changing table."

"Do we really need all of these diapers?"

"You need to breast-feed even if it kills you."

"I don't care if Maxim Talbot is who scored the Penguins' Stanley Cup-winning goal. We're not naming her 'Maxine'. Terry, Lynn and Franco are also off limits."

"Don't worry, I plan on breast-feeding for at least a year."

"Our hypnobirthing instructor told us all about the 'propaganda' the hospital will throw at us with their talk of interventions."

"Isn't the hypnobirthing stuff just another type of propaganda?"

"Hey honey, I think this parenting book your boss gave you might be old. It says babies should sleep on their stomachs."

"Oh don't worry. Those bumpers will be coming out when we bring her home. So will the 10 stuffed animals that are in her crib."

"I really like the name Francine. We can call her Frankie!"

"It's midnight. I can't sleep. I need to order a bassinet."

"You signed our Christmas cards with Hazel." "I signed our Christmas cards with a lot of different baby names to try them out."

"Public school. Really?"

"What type of diaper pail defines me as a parent?"

"I'm making my own baby food as a trade-off for not using cloth diapers. That's fair, right?"

Now it's your turn, Mommies. What were your "32-and-Pregnant" laments? Sound off in the comments!



8 comments:

  1. Him: We are not naming our daughter after the Hobbit Queen.

    Me: Arwyn is the Elven Princess! It's totally different!

    Thankfully, we had a son. :)

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  2. And thankfully he's not named Frodo or Gandalf...
    I appreciate you sharing, Beth!

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  3. Both of us: I don't believe parents insist on buying a car with a dvd player in it!

    This weekend: I used hemp to strap my iPod to the seat so Sebastian could watch movies on our drive to go camping. ;^)

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    Replies
    1. Love this! It's one of those classic parenthood lightbulb moments where you're like, "Oooohhhh, so that's why some parents do X. I stand corrected in my judgment."

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  4. That is HILARIOUS, Mel! And totally something i would do.

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  5. Our best "32 and pregnant" moment has to be when my engineer husband emailed me a detailed Excel spreadsheet listing and categorizing all of our baby girl first name and middle name picks. Which we later had a meeting about, before voting. (Okay, kidding on that last part!)

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  6. And it's with sweet relief that your baby's name did not end up being a horrifically spelled version of itself with extra "e's" and a "y" thrown in for good measure...

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  7. We also had a spreadsheet once we brought her home. Dr. T. presented it as a way to keep track of feedings and medicating, "in case we forgot." Like I would forget to feed the screaming beast or forget to take my post-C-section Vicodin!

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