Sunday, March 18, 2012

2 - 18:40 - All Hail the Sandwich King

All this AND he can make sandwiches? Heaven.
Jeff Mauro, I think I love you.
I cheered you on to become the Next Food Network Star. I knew you would win the day you stated your food p.o.v: Make every meal a sandwich; make every sandwich a meal. Finally, somebody on the Food Network I can relate to!
T and I couldn't wait for every new episode of Star to see what delicious things you would put between two buns. We argued over who had the bigger crush on you, Susie or Bob. Both had a glimmer in their eyes every time they tasted one of your concoctions.
Then your show debuted. It was a rocky first season. Lots of kinks to work out. It wasn't memorable. Until season two started a few weeks ago. Holy crap. Your visits to the restaurants that inspired you and your subsequent recipes based on those're the best thing to happen to Sunday mornings in non-football season.
Your meatball sandwich is pure genius. You made a meatball into a patty. Why didn't I ever think of this? All this time, my meatballs were rolling off the bun. That's why you have a TV show and I don't.
I thought I had the bases covered for what makes a good grilled cheese sandwich. But there you go with your delicious French Onion Grilled Cheese. I mean really, Jeff? Can you be any more of a master of sandwiches?
Then today's episode aired. It's really going to do me in. Not only did you feature homemade focaccia, you took the three greatest foods from the ball park and put them together! Seriously? A fresh-baked pretzel roll hot dog topped with nacho cheese. REALLY?!
I thought I had a teensy little crush on you. A harmless TV crush. Now I think it's turning into full-fledged obsession. All I want to eat sandwiches and it's all your fault. I've had pastrami and corned beef three times this week. T is in the kitchen making homemade focaccia right now as I type this. (pics to follow).
It doesn't hurt that you're cute and you feature your adorable son and wife. Our kids are right around the same age so maybe we should get together for a play-date sometime. You can provide the eats.
Keep up the good work, Sandwich King. I will continue to imbue you and perhaps be my own Sandwich Queen.

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