Saturday, March 31, 2012

2 – 25:40 – Insomniac

I can't sleep.
I don't sleep.
For the past three years, the only nights I've slept are the ones which I take carefully-prescribed-by-a-doctor Ambien. I try not to take it every night because I don't want to admit I have problems sleeping.
I have problems sleeping.
If I don't go to bed before T and he lets out even the smallest of snores, I'm awake. I stay awake. I watch the green light of my digital clock. 12 am. 1 am. 2 am. 3 am. 4 am.
It started when I was pregnant. It got worse during L.E.'s first year. That was a reason to be awake. She needed me or needed something.
She doesn't need me at 3 am anymore. I should relish it. Or at least sleep through it.
It's affected me in more ways than I have been willing to confess until now.
I'm depressed.
I'm tired.
I'm cranky.
I can't remember things. I'll look at a job that I worked on a few days or weeks ago and will have no memory of ever seeing it, even though my initials are on it.
People ask me questions and I seem like an idiot because I can't remember the answer.
I used to be sharp. I used to not miss things.
Sometimes when I'm lying awake, I'll recall every anniversary dinner we've ever had and where it was. I can't remember this year's.
It was two months ago.
My fuzzy head is costing me a lot. I can't keep up with appointments, friendships, play dates, my job... I'll ask my friends questions only to forget the answers next time I see them.
I owe a lot of apologies.
I don't want to live a life in a groggy fog anymore.
I'm tired.
Some nights I cry because I want to sleep so badly. I should be exhausted every day, right? Why do I lie awake all night, thinking about nothing?
I'm lonely.
I don't want to be addicted to sleeping pills.
I don't like tea.
I want to be able to remember important things again. I want to remember the silly trivial things, too.
I just want to sleep like a normal person.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

2 – 24:40 – Words Every Toddler Should Know

According to Cafe Mom, by the time your toddler is two they should know the following words:

  1. all gone
  2. baby
  3. ball
  4. banana
  5. bath
  6. bye bye
  7. book
  8. car
  9. cat
  10. cookie
  11. daddy
  12. dog
  13. eye
  14. hat
  15. hello/hi
  16. hot
  17. juice
  18. milk
  19. mommy
  20. more
  21. no
  22. nose
  23. shoe
  24. thank you
  25. yes
I'm happy to report that L.E. knows all of the above plus these gems:
1. No. I Don't. (Her first real sentence)
2. Cowboy (referring to Toy Story 3)
3. Nemo
4. Please (I'm happy about this but she's usually whining when she says it)
5. Boo Boo Bear (referring to the bear ice pack we keep in the freezer)
6. I pooped (She never says it when she actually did it)
7. I did it! (When she unclips her seatbelt from her high chair or shopping cart)
8. Shit (She was actually saying "shirt")
9. Porter (She says Por-ttter)
10. Turtle (Turrr-tttle)
11. Pretty much every animal in her Animals A-Z book
12. Dinosaur (She sings this cute little song called "Baby Dinosaur." It goes, "Baby Dino-saur. Baaabbyy Dino-saur...)
13. No, Mommy. Off couch. (Cuts like a knife)
14. No, Mommy. Daddy! (Cuts real deep)
15. Moon. Moooon. Moooooooon!!!! (When she wants me to open the sunroof)
16. Bathtime! (Followed by stripping her clothes off and running through the house naked)
17. Potty, No. No Thank You!
18. Water! (Followed by splashing her pee in her potty)
19. Daddy's Juice. Mommy's Juice (Referring to our beer and/or wine)
20. Lucy's turn! 
21. Mia. Maizie. Fish. (When FaceTiming with family and friends, she only wants to see their animals.)
22. Soup (She says it like "Shoup." It's adorable)
23. Nigh-night time (She'll say it in the middle of the day just so she can get her binky)
24. Robot (Usually sounds like bo-bot)
25. ILUFFUUUU (I love you. Makes me melt every time.)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

2 - 23:40 - Side Effects of Formula Feeding

I saw this link and when I read the title, I wanted to punch the author. But I clicked on it anyway and I think it's hilarious and pretty spot-on. I also like how she includes a link to Side Effects of Breastfeeding,
Yes, even two years later I still get the breastfeeding guilt. But L.E. is healthy and happy. That's all that matters, right?
Side Effects of Formula Feeding

Sunday, March 25, 2012

2 - 22:40 - Why I Feel Like an A-hole

Sometimes, I just really feel like an asshole. Today, here's why.

  • I didn't get any photos of L.E. and her godparents while they were visiting for her birthday.
  • I didn't go run today because it's windy. Also, I'm lazy.
  • I still wanted E to cook last night after an exhausting day. We ended up ordering pizza; but that doesn't mean I still didn't want her to make her tacos.
  • I'm going to make T make E's tacos for dinner tonight.
  • I swore I wouldn't buy myself any clothes this month but I still did.
  • I'm the worst picture-taker ever at birthday parties.
  • I've been having these terrible nightmares so I started writing them down in my novel book because I sometimes like to think I'm a real writer.
  • Our next hip appointment is Friday and I'm not thinking about it until I have to.
  • I want my nice friends who don't have kids to have kids and I keep telling them.
  • I'm scared to leave L.E. with my parents for a weekend. I really don't want to but I have to.
  • I didn't invite a lot of people to the party, yet I still invited a lot of people to the party.
  • L.E. prefers her dad to me and I feel resentful about it.
  • Toy Story 3 makes me realize that I really should donate or throw out a lot of L.E.'s toys.
  • I haven't written a blog post in five days and I'm hoping you haven't noticed but I secretly wish you do.
  • I want T to focus on grading papers so I can switch off March Madness and catch up on Smash.
  • I eavesdrop on other people's conversations. All. The. Time.
  • I'm supposed to go to the movies tonight. I don't care about the movie as much as I care about a giant tub of buttered popcorn that I won't share.
  • I judge other moms but I pretend that I don't.
  • L.E. ate ice cream toppings for dinner last night.
This may be a regular feature on this blog now. Because I'm an asshole.

2 - 21:40 - TWO

L.E. turned 2 yesterday.
She's amazing.
I don't really know how that happened considering how iffy I was in the beginning.
But here she is, two years later and pretty much the greatest person on the planet.
Just the fact that I'm able to type that means that she's done a wonderful job of mommy-ing me over.
We celebrated in sock monkey style.
I cut out her name in sock-monkey fabric.

Gift bags and placemats. Yep, I'm turning into annoying crafty-mom.

The banana split bar was amazing!

The birthday girl.

Birthday girl making her wish. I bet it was for more sprinkles.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

2 - 20:40 - Drugging Your Kids

Woo-hoo, halfway to 40!
I've blogged about flying with L.E. more than once. I will admit that I considered Benadryl but I never gave in.
I like this author's attitude about it, as well. 

Monday, March 19, 2012

2 - 19:40 - Cure for Your Case of the Mondays

Every Monday, I post a video that at one point or another made me laugh so hard that I snarfed water out of my nose. They are most certainly oldies and definitely goodies.

Saturday, T and I were talking about St. Patty's Day. He said a lot of his Cleveland friends are super-psyched to go out drinking. All I could think was, "Of course they are. There's nothing else to do in Cleveland." Which brought up the memory of this amazing, hastily-made Cleveland Tourism Video.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

2 - 18:40 - All Hail the Sandwich King

All this AND he can make sandwiches? Heaven.
Jeff Mauro, I think I love you.
I cheered you on to become the Next Food Network Star. I knew you would win the day you stated your food p.o.v: Make every meal a sandwich; make every sandwich a meal. Finally, somebody on the Food Network I can relate to!
T and I couldn't wait for every new episode of Star to see what delicious things you would put between two buns. We argued over who had the bigger crush on you, Susie or Bob. Both had a glimmer in their eyes every time they tasted one of your concoctions.
Then your show debuted. It was a rocky first season. Lots of kinks to work out. It wasn't memorable. Until season two started a few weeks ago. Holy crap. Your visits to the restaurants that inspired you and your subsequent recipes based on those're the best thing to happen to Sunday mornings in non-football season.
Your meatball sandwich is pure genius. You made a meatball into a patty. Why didn't I ever think of this? All this time, my meatballs were rolling off the bun. That's why you have a TV show and I don't.
I thought I had the bases covered for what makes a good grilled cheese sandwich. But there you go with your delicious French Onion Grilled Cheese. I mean really, Jeff? Can you be any more of a master of sandwiches?
Then today's episode aired. It's really going to do me in. Not only did you feature homemade focaccia, you took the three greatest foods from the ball park and put them together! Seriously? A fresh-baked pretzel roll hot dog topped with nacho cheese. REALLY?!
I thought I had a teensy little crush on you. A harmless TV crush. Now I think it's turning into full-fledged obsession. All I want to eat sandwiches and it's all your fault. I've had pastrami and corned beef three times this week. T is in the kitchen making homemade focaccia right now as I type this. (pics to follow).
It doesn't hurt that you're cute and you feature your adorable son and wife. Our kids are right around the same age so maybe we should get together for a play-date sometime. You can provide the eats.
Keep up the good work, Sandwich King. I will continue to imbue you and perhaps be my own Sandwich Queen.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

2 - 17:40 - Slacker

Only had one for St. Patty's Day. Restraint!
OMG, I haven't posted in three days!

Committing to this daily blogging is hard. I could whine and complain about the plight of the working mom but really, part of it is laziness.
I blame the time-change.
This week has been exhausting. L.E. hasn't adjusted so she's up late and sleeping late. She also has been waking up in the middle of the night. Again. It's like last year's sleep nightmares all over again.
One more week until she turns two. Crazy.
We bought Finding Nemo last weekend. Since then, we have watched Finding Nemo 12 times.
Potty training is not going well. She'll sit on the potty for a little bit and cry. I forget sometimes that despite the counting in Spanish and pointing at letters knowing exactly what they are, she's not quite two.
Two more weeks until her next hip appointment. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaked out about it.
L.E. has been answering, "No. I don't." when asked if she wants something. Not what I had in mind for her first complete sentence. I was hoping for, "I love you, Mommy."
St. Patty's Day isn't what it used to be. I was never that into the Irish bar crawl but we would at least go out for a pint of Guinness and some corned beef. We've discovered we can do this at home. T made the best corned beef ever! I can't wait for tomorrow's rueben.
My new favorite pastime is telling L.E. to put her arms up so I can tickle them. Her giggles are explosive and hilarious.
I think I have appendicitis. Or else it's gas.
Toddee and Foofa were in my dream last night. We were having a tea party.
I promise more posts tomorrow. You'll get Meatless Friday on Sunday.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

2 - 16:40 - Overindulgent Parenting is soooo 2002

I saw this article and thought it makes a great case for how we parented our kids ten years ago versus how we do it now. Curious to see what the next ten years brings!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

2 - 15:40 – Taco Tuesday

Tacos. A celebration of food.
I love tacos!
OK, so I don't make the authentic, street-style "real" tacos. I'm talking about the bastardized, American-ized, grew-up-on-ChiChi's kind of tacos.
They're my favorite home-cooked dinner so we have them at least once a week. They're so easy to make; perfect for the busy family.
I don't have a real recipe per se, but this is a good guideline to make your own delicious tacos.
Simply brown a pound of ground meat (I use turkey) and either stir in a packet of pre-made taco seasoning or make your own with cumin, red chile powder, salt and smoked paprika.
I prefer hard shells over soft. What I like to do is spoon some sour cream on the shell and coat it. Then add the meat and toppings. My favorite toppings are freshly shredded cheddar cheese, chopped fresh cilantro, some avocado and a sprinkle of Tapatio or Cholula hot sauce. T always chops fresh tomatoes for his. I prefer to use salsa but we never seem to have any.
We always eat tacos with a side of whole pinto or black beans. L.E. loves beans so it's the perfect meal for all of us.
Enjoy. And Happy Taco Tuesday!

Monday, March 12, 2012

2 - 14:40 – Cure for Your Case of the Mondays

Although the TV show "Portlandia" is hit or miss, the original teaser song "Dream of the 90s" is an instant classic. It's especially hilarious if you have ever been to Portland or know people who live there.
Today's Cure for Your Case of the Mondays:

Sunday, March 11, 2012

2 - 13:40 - Becoming "That" Mom

I've done my best. I made it almost two years. I tried so hard to avoid it and I made it a really long time. But it finally happened. I uttered one of the dreaded phrases.
A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.
I've thought it so many times since becoming a parent but never actually said it out loud. I most recently thought it during the story I told in a recent post about using maxi-pads instead of diapers.
But there I was, telling a story to a friend about shoveling yogurt in L.E's mouth as fast as I could before she realized I was feeding her and clamped her mouth shut. And I said it. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.
So many times I've seen this statement on mommy discussion boards and thought it was just an excuse for being lazy. Now I love a good laziness excuse just as much as the next person, but I feel like I'm a little better than the message board women. For one thing, my handle is not something cutesy like "<3<3<3L.E.'sMommy<3<3<3" it's my name, albeit my maiden name. I don't talk about how horrible my DH is because he won't change the baby's diaper. I don't want to discuss L.E.'s tantrums or how hard potty training is. I hate using the term DH and DD and DS. I had to Google SAHM because I had no idea it stood for Stay-At-Home-Mom.
(Side note: my dad would call all of our boyfriends DH when we started dating. It did not mean Dear Husband.)
Mostly, the message boards annoy me because I seem like I have nothing in common with the March 2010 Birth Club except for the fact that I had a baby in March of 2010.
I like to think of myself as a different kind of mom. One who's firm but still cool. Laid back, yet not letting her run into the street. Can laugh with her and kiss her boo-boos. I read to her but she still gets to watch T.V. I don't want to be a mom whose main identity has been completely obscured because she's somebody's mommy.  Yet the older L.E. gets, the closer I get to becoming "that" mom. I introduced myself to a fellow parent as "L.E.'s mom" the other day. I forgot to tell them my real adult name.
I watched an episode of Sesame Street even though L.E. had already gone to bed.
I posted a photo of L.E. on Facebook wearing a pair of underwear on her head. (Actually, it was two pairs of underwear but you can't tell in the pic.)
I try so hard to keep L.E. stories to myself, especially when talking to people who don't have kids. But when my life is so ingrained with hers–and she's a laugh-riot–it's really hard.
I show my single-guy-co-worker my new calendar photos of her every month.
I blog about her almost every day.
I sewed 20 little sock monkey bags to hold the favors for L.E.'s birthday party. (To counter that and not seem like over-achieving mom, I put trinkets from the Dollar Tree in them.)
We live in an age of over-sharing. Blogs like STFU, Parents wouldn't be popular otherwise. Every day, I tread the fine line between showing my social world how cute my kid is and sending photos of her little naked butt to my family.
I need to show some restraint. I need to not say things like A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.
I referred to Xanax as "mommy's little helper" the other night. Please kill me.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

2 - 12:40 - Meatless Friday - Saturday Edition

Sorry about the missed post yesterday! I had a tooth pulled and the recovery was way worse than I thought it was going to be. After lying on the couch for most of the day,  my good friend M. reminded me we'd signed up for a Phyllo Workshop at our local cooking school. I'd always wanted to cook more with phyllo and at the very least, make sure I was pronouncing it correctly (fee-low) not (fy-low)
We made three delicious dishes: an appetizer, an entree that I can best describe as a phyllo burrito and, of course, baklava. But we didn't make my favorite phyllo snack, Spanakopita.
I'm sharing my favorite Food Network recipe for it below. But I guarantee it won't be as good as The Blue Plate's.


1/3 cup olive oil
2 pounds spinach, washed and drained (I always use fresh spinach. Frozen spinach grosses me out)
1 bunch scallions, white and green parts, chopped
1/4 cup finely chopped parsley
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 pound feta cheese, crumbled
1 to 2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted
1 pound phyllo pastry sheets (I recommend Athena brand)

Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large saute pan, add half of the spinach and saute until spinach wilts, tossing with tongs, about 2 minutes. Remove spinach and squeeze out excess liquid, then chop roughly. Repeat with remaining spinach, using 1 more tablespoon of olive oil. Pour off any liquid from the pan, and add remaining olive oil. Add scallions and saute until soft, about 2 to 3 minutes. Add the spinach to the scallions, along with the parsley, salt and pepper. Cook over low heat for 1 to 2 minutes, then remove from heat to cool. (This part can be done ahead and kept refrigerated).

Stir the feta and as much beaten egg to moisten the cooled spinach mixture.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Brush a baking sheet with some of the melted butter.

Unroll the phyllo dough on a flat surface and keep it covered with waxed paper and a damp towel so it doesn't dry out and become brittle. Using a sharp knife, cut the filo into 3 by 11 inch strips, and recover with the towel. Use a pastry brush to brush a strip of phyllo with melted butter. Place a small spoonful of spinach filling 1 inch from the end of the pastry. Fold the end over the filling to form a triangle, then continue to fold up the strip in triangles, like folding up a flag or paper football. Continue with remaining strips of dough, placing filled triangles on the baking sheet and keeping them covered with a towel until all are ready to bake.

Brush the triangles lightly with butter, then bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve hot. (These may be frozen before baking, layering waxed paper between layers of triangles to keep them from sticking. Bake frozen triangles an extra 10 minutes.)

Variation: Butter a 9 by 13 inch baking pan, and spread 6 sheets of filo, brushing each with butter, on the bottom. Spoon the spinach filling over the filo, then cover with 6 more sheets of filo, buttering each sheet. Score the top 3 sheets with a sharp knife. Bake 40 to 45 minutes, or until top is golden, let stand 15 minutes, then cut into squares and serve warm.


Thursday, March 8, 2012

2 - 11:40 - SEW

I took up sewing in recent months. I'm not fantastic at it but I really love just having some time to myself and doing something productive.
I was inspired by my friend who was nice enough to invite me to a Stitch & Bitch.
Below are some projects I made. You can also check out my Pinterest Sewing Projects board to see what else I'm working on and what I'd like to make.
I have two rolls of oilcloth and i'm super-excited to make this bag.

My first bag! Made at the Stitch & Bitch.
First solo project. I kept it instead of giving it away. Pattern inspired by

I made this one for a friend's 40th birthday. I didn't use a pattern; I winged it.
My first attempt at homemade stuffed goodies for L.E. She knew what it was and that's all that mattered!
It's a robot.
Gift bags for L.E.'s sock monkey birthday party. 

Bag made of leftover sock monkey fabric. I hope my orange-loving friend liked it!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

2 - 10:40 - Blog, NV

I have blogger envy.
I've always wanted to write for a living. I know I joke about a book deal all the time on this blog but really, I want a book deal. I want this blog to get read by just the right person who thinks I have something to say and should share with the world.
I want more people to read me.
I want to be like some of my favorite bloggers like Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, The Bloggess, Girls Gone Child and STFU Parents. They are brilliant writers and have an amazingly large audience. How do I get there?
I have great ideas. I'm convinced people steal them before I get the chance to write them down. The gal who writes People I Want to Punch in the Throat stole my idea of writing a BFF love-letter to Tina Fey. I forgive her because her blog is so great and I feel like we're kindred spirits. Maybe I should write a BFF love-letter to her?
I'm envious of the people who can have "sponsored" posts. Why can't I get companies to send me products to try out and write about? How do I get Levi's or Lancome to sponsor a post about how great their products are? I'll do it. Just so I can reach a larger audience.
So please, if you're reading this, share it with your friends.
And if one of your friends happens to be Oprah, I'll love you forever and ever.

Monday, March 5, 2012

2 - 9:40 - Cure for Your Case of the Mondays

I LOVE the 70s. So much. I was born in the 70s so I feel like I missed out on the great stuff. The shoes, the mustaches, the ridiculous it love it LOVE it! So when I found this Bill Simmons column a few years ago, it immediately went into my repertoire of all-time great reasons the internet is around. The original Battle of the Network Stars had EVERYTHING. Everybody smoked and either wore shorty-shorts or velour sweatsuits. Nobody took their gold chains off to run a race. Howard Cosell got away with calling Farah Fawcett "baby." It's a classic. Enjoy.

Can you imagine if we tried to do a Battle of the Network Stars right now? Who do you think would be on it? (NETWORK, not reality.)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

2 - 8:40 - Bye Bye Binky

Her favorite accessory is about to go buh-byes.
We're trying to ditch the pacifier. It's hard.
L.E. loves her binky so much. She asks for it all the time. In the car, at home, at pre-school...always binky binky binky. But she's almost two and about to move up to a big-girl school where most of the kids don't use binkies. We talked with her school's owner and we all agreed to a plan. Binky only at night and during naps.
The first few days have been fine. Only once did she go into her room and reach through the slats of her crib and got the pacifier out. We distracted her with a cookie to get it back.
It's been pretty much out-of-sight, out-of-mind. But all of a sudden, the same child who wouldn't sleep more than two hours at a time for the first year of her life wants to go to bed more than anything. Nigh-night! Binky! Nap-time! Binky! Bed, Mommy, bed! Tired! She used to fight me tooth and nail about going to sleep and now she practically jumps out of my arms and into her crib.
It's going to be a whole new battle when we try to take it away from her when she sleeps. Or maybe she'll realize she doesn't need a binky anymore, like Elmo.
Please tell me: did your child use a binky? Was it hard to break the habit?

Friday, March 2, 2012

2 7:40 - Meatless Friday: Happy Birthday, Theodore Geisel!

For today's Meatless Friday, I'm sharing a recipe that contains meat. I know that's not being a good Lenten follower but it's a good reason. Today is Dr. Seuss' 108th birthday. So of course I'm going to share a delectable recipe for Green Eggs & Ham.  By combining the ham with the eggs, you needn't bother with dyeing it green.
You could eat them on a train, you could eat them in the rain!

Green Eggs & Ham

       6 eggs
       1 tablespoon milk
       2 tablespoons green onion, roughly chopped
       1 cup fresh spinach leaves, washed with big stems removed
•    4 cloves of chopped garlic
•    1/4 cup of grated parmesan
•    1/4 cup diced ham
       Salt & pepper to taste
       Butter for frying

  1. Combine eggs, milk, onion, garlic and parmesan in a bowl and mix well. 
  2. Add spinach leaves and blend. Fold in ham.
  3. Heat a big pat of butter (don’t be stingy!) in a frying pan over medium low heat.
  4. Once the butter has melted pour the egg mixture into the warm pan. Let it sit for a couple minutes before you begin to stir and scramble with a spatula. Cook until eggs are done all the way through.
  5. Enjoy!