Wednesday, March 30, 2011

21:40 -- With a Side of Self-Loathing

$10 says you're hungry now.

I have issues with food. I love it, in case you haven't noticed. I also hate exercising. And I just had a baby. (I can still say that even though it's been a year, right?) All of this has culminated into a more-to-love Hip-Baby Mama. It's very depressing.
I gained 60 lbs while pregnant. When you consider that I've technically lost all the baby weight, it's a pretty impressive feat. But what anyone will tell you, mom or not, is that your body is never the same. As much as I'd love all the extra weight I'm carrying to be in my boobs, it's unfortunately in my stomach. And my butt. And my thighs. But mostly my stomach.
I could theoretically eat nothing but salad and lose these last few (or 20) pounds. And I could find 10 minutes a day to do some core exercises. But the fact is I love to eat good food and I am usually so exhausted when I finally do get some "me" time that the last thing I want to do is crunches. I like to believe that I'm fat because I enjoy life and I enjoy food. But this nagging self-pity creeps in every time I order off a menu in a restaurant.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who eats fast food 8 times a week. I couldn't tell you the last time I had McDonald's. I occasionally indulge in Wendy's or In & Out Burger. I keep my french fry intake to a minimum. I don't eat sweets very often. I just really like cheese. And meat. And bread. And pasta. And chicken wings. And butter. Kind of a dangerous combo if eaten all together. A delicious, dangerous combo. OK, now I'm craving chicken wings and they're all I'll think about the rest of the day! I haven't eaten breakfast and I'm already thinking about lunch. And dinner. AAARRRRRGGGGHHH!
Hopefully L.E. will be more mobile soon and I can get some extra exercise chasing her around. Also, we won't be eating our biggest meal at 9:00 every night after she goes to sleep, we'll be eating as a family. I don't want L.E. to subsist on a diet of only chicken nuggets and macaroni & cheese, as awesome as that may sound.
Once the weather gets warmer, I'm sure I'll take this weight thing way more seriously.
At least you can't see my c-section scar because my paunch is covering it up.

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