Wednesday, March 23, 2011

15:40 -- Good Mom vs Bad Mom

Would a Good Mom let her baby eat her bib?
Is she a Bad Mom for taking a photo and posting it on her blog?

Every mom goes through the same thing. Are we good moms or bad moms? I don't mean bad mom in the drowning-your-kids sense, I mean the lazy, somewhat morally-questionable things moms do. Or I do. Maybe it's just me?
Allow me to do a little play on those lovable bastards from Highlights magazine, Goofus and Gallant.

Good Mom: Doesn't allow baby to ever watch TV because of some study done in the UK about it literally rotting their brain
Bad Mom: OK, just 2 episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba and 1 Sesame Street so that Mommy can check her Facebook and finish this impossible level on Angry Birds

Good Mom: Stays home with her kids
Bad Mom: Goes back to work and leaves baby at the company-subsidized daycare without doing any other daycare research except for the fact that no kid has ever gone missing or choked on a chicken nugget there. (Fortunately, our daycare truly is AWESOME. Got soooo lucky on that one)

Good Mom: Baby-proofs the house diligently with cabinet locks, corner-padding, outlet covers and toilet-locking mechanisms
Bad Mom: Baby-proofs with some easy-to-remove outlet covers and cabinet locks which are never "locked".

Good Mom: Immediately runs to baby when she bumps her head and coos soothingly
Bad Mom: Giggles before soothing because baby bumps her head on the exact same spot daily

Good Mom: Has professional photography sessions set up every 3 months and compiles all of the proofs into elegantly-bound scrapbook albums
Bad Mom: Buys the school portraits taken in front of a fake-park backdrop and brags about how her kid was scowling in the photos because the photographer took the snot-ridden Elmo doll away

Good Mom: Keeps the dog away from baby because any animal that licks its own butt shouldn't be giving baby kisses
Bad Mom: Lets the dog clean off baby's face after meals

Good Mom: Doesn't take baby to crowded places
Bad Mom: Takes baby to beer festivals

Good Mom: Documents every new food baby eats and waits the requsite 4 days between introducing new foods
Bad Mom: Takes a learn-by-eating approach and lets baby try everything, including tater tots and ribs

Good Mom: Supervises baby's playtime, especially when new toys are presented
Bad Mom:  Lets baby crawl under the sink of her new play kitchen for ages 3 and up

Good Mom: Wraps birthday presents in fancy paper
Bad Mom: Gives baby the present right out of the box with the hopes that she'll stop crying

Good Mom: Always has hand sanitizer at the ready
Bad Mom: Realizes too late that baby has been chewing on the wrong end of a dirty nasal aspirator

Good Mom: Rarely speaks about baby's bowel movements
Bad Mom: Tells her friends her baby's poop smells like ham

Good Mom: Has a well-behaved toddler who doesn't make a mess in a restaurant
Bad Mom: Over-tips the servers

Good Mom: Keeps all medication out of baby's reach. Especially the Vicodin. If she even tries to take one of Mommy's happy pills, i'll....Oh wait, that's venturing into Bad Mom territory

Good Mom: Loves her baby unconditionally
Bad Mom: Loves her baby unconditionally...since i'm the "Bad Mom" in these scenarios

Nobody's perfect. So please don't call CPS.


  1. Poop smells like ham. Why does that make me giggle? Must be a "bad mom" trait. ; )

  2. These diapers fit my 20+ lb. baby great. The flex tabs contour to my baby's really chubby thighs. Other diapers that do not have much stretch in the tabs tend to dig into the top of his thighs. So, these fit snuggly without being being tight & they are also very absorbent.