Monday, July 14, 2014

Confessions of a Popsicle-Mold Hoarder

I have a very tiny kitchen. To call it a "galley kitchen" is doing a disservice to real boat galleys. But it's my kitchen and I love it. Drawer and cabinet space is a premium; we don't buy superfluous appliances due to a lack of space. So when my friend was over and discovered an entire drawer full of popsicle molds, she started to wonder about my sanity. But to her I say, "Who's crazy now with a freezer full of delicious homemade frozen fruit pops?"
Rocket Pops, muthaf**ka!

And she would probably say, "You are, because that was months ago. You need to let things go!"
I made homemade popsicles. I had a bunch of fruit that started to turn after two days because organic! and I didn't want to waste it. So I put my trove of molds to good use.
There's no set recipe, just common sense. And a hand blender. Just mash the fruit in a bowl, add some liquid for consistency, mix and pour. Super easy, right?
For Peach-Mango ones, I mixed in vanilla yogurt. Since I seem to always buy the worst-tasting yogurt, I added some honey for a little extra sweetness.
I made Chocolate-Peanut-Butter-Banana ones using my secret stash of peanut butter meltaways. Melt the chocolate first and blend with the banana. You may need to add some milk if the chocolate melts too thickly.
Finally, I made Strawberry-Blueberry-Banana pops. For these, orange juice helped sweeten it since my blueberries were pretty tart.
L.E. hasn't decided whether or not she likes them but I'm OK with that. Because that means I get to eat them all! A popsicle is so much more fun than a smoothie, though you don't have the same self-righteousness that goes along with drinking a smoothie. Maybe this is my way of changing that.
"Oh, that's a smoothie you have? Well I'm eating a fresh fruit ROCKET POP!"
I may have problems.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Unsolicited Marital Advice

I look like a teen bride!
One of my friends from Reno is getting married tomorrow. I couldn't be happier for her because I've known her for a long time and lived vicariously through her as she navigated the treacherous waters of dating. I was never one to offer her advice because let's face it...I can't relate to modern relationships. When Dr. T and I first started dating, we both lived with our parents. There was no cell phones, no texting, no internet stalking...we had to call our HOME PHONES and LEAVE MESSAGES! But after almost 20 years together and 15 years of marriage, I think I'm somewhat qualified to offer some words of wisdom.

  • Like is more important than love. When you're old and feeding each other soup, you need to like the person you're spoon-feeding.
  • Lower your expectations a little. Marriage isn't the end-all be-all solution to happiness. You're going to be disappointed by your spouse. So maybe expect a little less so you're pleasantly surprised when they do things like the extra load of laundry or take your car for an oil change.
  • A hug can end any argument. Keeping this blog PG-13 ;)
  • Have your own interests. Keep up with your friends. Have a hobby that's separate from your spouse.
  • Separate. Bank. Accounts. Have a joint savings but keep the day-to-day things separate.
  • Kids really will change EVERYTHING. Be prepared because you really will see the dark side of each other. The first six months of parenthood are ridiculously hard but remember that you're in it together. And that baby can't take you both down no matter how hard she tries with her manipulative streak of refusing to put on shoes when she knows you're running late and you can't find her sock and you have to hold her down to brush her teeth while she flails...whoops, I'm losing focus.
  • You are the most important person to your spouse. Never forget that.
  • Break up the routine every few weeks. Take this as you want; in keeping it PG-13, I mean go to a different restaurant, take in a play or sporting event. Just something different than your normal routine.
  • Try at least one thing that you don't like but your spouse does. For me, it's camping. For Dr. T, it's live shows for bands he thinks are "lame."
  • Let some of the little things go.
  • Your friends and family are here for you no matter what. We all love you both to the moon and back.
I couldn't be happier for you both! Thinking of you and sending good vibes and energy your way as you start your new life together.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

I Made Some Stuff

I have no idea what's wrong with me today.  For one thing, I haven't been very hungry which is weird unto itself. But what's exceptionally weird is that while scrolling through my Facebook feed this morning, I saw this:
41 Awesomely Easy No-Sew DIY Clothing Hacks
I couldn't resist clicking on it because BuzzFeed but it had some really cool ideas. So I got out my scissors and my old too-tight big t-shirts and started chopping.

First up was this:
Multi-Strand Scarf
I used a t-shirt that I never wore from the Texas Rollergirls because Dr. T was nice enough to think I am a Ladies' small shirt. Even though the tutorial had the twist and knot on one side, the seams of the shirt drove me crazy. So I did the twist on both sides. With a different shirt. I love the way it turned out even though I'm not a "statement necklace" person. I like a good scarf. When it's 90 degrees out.
Moving on...
Cute, right?
Since I'd already cut up a dark grey Texas t-shirt for the strands above, I decided to make this:
OK, I seriously want to make a million of them. I love it so much! Of course, I didn't bust out my hot-glue gun to finish like the tutorial suggests but that's because I'm lazy and I have no idea where the glue gun is or if I even have glue.

My sweet friend complimented me on it so I'm going to make one for her tonight while I'm still in my inexplicable DIY mood.

Finally, I got really crafty. I used an iron. *GASP* When Dr. T saw me taking it off the shelf, he said he never would have guessed that I even knew where it was. Har-dee-har-har.
I love a good cardigan and I seem to have a surplus of long-sleeved t-shirts. Also, I had some Stitch Witchery that I'd bought while I was still in my sewing phase.

First of all, I'd never used Stitch Witchery before. So I opened the roll and started using it per the instructions on the back of the package. The instructions that didn't say anywhere UNROLL THE PLASTIC COATING FOR TWO YARDS BEFORE YOU GET TO THE ACTUAL PRODUCT BECAUSE THE PLASTIC COATING IS NOT THE STITCH WITCHERY. Seriously, it took me an hour of ironing and thinking I had expired stuff. Fortunately, I'm not the only person who ever did this, as you can see by the Amazon reviews. Anywho, I made two new cardigans. I love the open fit and as I always say, you can't have too many black cardigans.
Purple Gap long-sleeve

Black v-neck waffle-knit
Overall, I enjoyed my little DIY fantasy day. I feel like I can actually upcycle things in a cool and unique way. Plus, people might actually like getting a cool homemade gift from me, the anti-DIY queen!

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Yum Yum: Zucchini and Carrot "Pasta"

I'm not gluten-free, paleo, carb-free or anything like that. I just wanted to get L.E. to eat more vegetables. So I got a "spiralizer" a few months ago with the hopes I could fool her into thinking spiraled zucchini was actually her precious noodles.
Silly me.
Notice the separate bowl behind this one.

But it was a good purchase, nonetheless.
I love the blog Inspiralized for recipes and how-tos. If you sign up for their newsletter, they send you a handy cooking guide. She recommends a fancier spiralizer but I wasn't ready to sacrifice counter space
This isn't a set recipe and I made some mistakes but it still turned out to be a healthy and delicious dish.

This is the one I have. I "spiralized" one of my nails and a knuckle, too!
3 medium zucchinis
2 carrots
4 brown mushrooms, sliced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 large red pepper, diced
A bunch of basil, chopped
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
Parmesan cheese

Spiralize the zucchini and carrots and set aside. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet. Add the garlic and sauté a few minutes. Add the mushrooms and red pepper; cook till soft.
I love the smell of cooking mushrooms!
Add the zucchini and carrots; toss until well-coated with oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. You may need to add more oil at this point but use a light hand. Cook for 2-3 minutes. Toss in the basil. Serve immediately into bowls and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Enjoy!

Monday, June 2, 2014


The only selfie I've ever loved.

What am I more afraid of than anything? Myself.
Rather, my lack of self-esteem.
If you were to ask me what my favorite thing about myself is, it would take me a long time to answer.
I could be one of those cheeseball moms everybody loves to hate and say that it's my daughter.
That's the easy way out because I don't know how to think about myself in a positive light. I could instead name five things I hate about myself and four of them have to do with various body parts.
I try desperately to keep a positive body image in front of L.E. but at the same time, I'm always conscious about every roll my body has and how my pants are too tight. I joke about my addictions to tacos and queso but I don't know how funny it is when they really are all I think about and I feel terrible when I eat. If I go out to eat with somebody new, I claim to be one of those "I'm not going to hide who I really am" people and indulge in whatever I'm craving. And I hate myself after it.
Especially if that person ordered salad and ate less than half of it.
I convince myself that if somebody doesn't text me back that it automatically means they hate me or I said something I shouldn't have. Usually, it's because they're just like me and juggling 5-million things in their lives and don't always have time to text back. I should never think otherwise but I do.
Having no self-esteem sucks.
I've convinced myself that our new neighbors – who have become really great friends – will grow tired of me and not invite us over as much. I hope that doesn't happen because I like them. And they're putting in a pool next year.
Lack of self-love for my body is nothing new. I can cope with that or at least try to change it with all of the stupidly "motivating" posters I look at on Pinterest or by signing up to something called Abs, Buns and Guns for 30 days.
Or agreeing to run a half-marathon because I was drunk when I said I would and goddamn it I keep my drunken promises.
My self-deprecating attitude has become part of my schtick. I'd love to pretend it's just an act. But when I say to my boss, "Oh you're really going to be tired of being around me," I believe that's actually how she's going to feel.
My hypnotherapist chastises me when I say things like that. I'm glad she does. By sticking with this therapy, I'm seeing myself in a better light but steps.
I hate the way I look in photos but I don't want L.E. to wonder why I was never in pics with her. So I started doing the super-close-up selfies of us. I feel the best about myself when I'm around her and I want that to show in my Instagram feed.
After all, isn't the whole point of a social network showing off how happy you are so you can make everybody you know jealous?
If I make one person jealous by what I post, I would get a tiny bump in self-esteem because of how jealous I feel when I look at other peoples' feeds, especially when they're on vacation or rockin' a hot bikini bod or eating something smoked.
It all comes full circle.
Baby steps.
So if you were to ask me once again to name something I like about myself, I still couldn't give a solid answer. So I'd probably say my ability to rock a bright or dark lipstick.